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  • Tara R


If you're anything like me, you might be a little paranoid. Round-the-clock temperature checks can make you just a wee bit hyper-aware of how you're feeling at all times. But, it's important not to panic; remember, there are a plethora of reasons you might feel like shit these days. My PSA to you -- hopefully it quells your nerves.


1. You have possible whiplash from your fervent, if not frenzied, “out of the saddle” stint on your last Peleton ride. But you showed up!

2. You are hung over, or you are in alcohol withdrawal from being sick and tired of being hung over. 3. Your fight or flight instinct has been battered by the sheer will of your children who demand you sit through The Princess Switch: Switched Again, after watching High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Holiday Special.

4. You're mildly asphyxiated from attempting to bulldoze your pussy-bow blouse into looking like it does on Drew Barrymore. 5. Your head is spinning from the mind-bending reality that the waify beauty blogger who announced she was pregnant during quarantine just had her baby and is almost skinny again.

6. Your temples are sore from scowling at unsuspecting passers-by like you're a strung-out Carrie Mathison scurrying through a crowded mid-day market in Bagdad, even though you are just on a leisurely stroll through Sag Harbor.

7. Your head explodes from the envy of Drew Barrymore’s insanely gorgeous boot collection.

8. You painstakingly deduce that you could have watched two full mediocre movies in the time spent scrolling through Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime trying to find the perfect movie to watch.

9. You face-palmed yourself a little too hard after indignantly logging onto FreshDirect to check your order, because where the hell are the goddamn groceries already, only to discover they are still sitting in your online cart.

10. You slowly unclench your furrowed brow when your prayers are answered, and no one falls ill from the make-your-own-sushi-kit you bought online.

11. You've been butting your head against the wall attempting to pry your kids into the great outdoors with the promise of fresh air and movement. This is definitely migraine material.

All other troubling symptoms should get checked out by your doctor. But don't stress. It's probably nothing. Quite literally, it's all in your head.

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