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  • Tara R.


Admit it, the post-vacation playdate is only fun when it’s in somebody else’s home…

There’s weeks’ worth of mail to sort through, groceries to de-box, and suitcases to unpack stuffed with dirty ski clothes and god-knows-what-else. Your home looks like an atom bomb hit, and your kids are bored and tired of just about everything. Playdate?? Yes, please!! But the real question remains: My place or yours?

Mom A: Hi! Ben is really looking forward to the playdate with Zack tomorrow! Glad we finally scheduled something for them! Happy to host or to send! Let me know what’s best for you. Mom B: Omg – same! Zack has been talking about the playdate all day! He can’t wait! They are more than welcome here! Or they could go to you! Whatever works. Mom A: Actually, maybe it’s better if they don’t play here? The baby seemed a little sniffly this morning — I'm sure it’s nothing serious, but maybe it's better to be safe than sorry?

Mom B: Oh, no! There's so much going around. My husband just had the flu! No problem. They're always welcome here! I just have to let you know he's still finishing up his tamiflu -- so maybe the kids are better off around a sniffling baby?

Mom A: The flu is no joke this season! Ok, great -- they'll come here. Just an FYI that we just had our carpets cleaned and there's still a slight chemical scent in their air -- but it’s nothing to worry about. I'll just have our nanny take them to the park for some fresh air if they seem like they’re having difficulty breathing. Unless you'd prefer to have them at your house. I totally understand.

Mom B: Hmm, thanks for telling me. Ok. they'll come here! You know how Ben is with his allergies -- he's so sensitive! Just letting you know that our elevator has been on the fritz, so I hope it's no big deal that you’ll have to walk up. We are apartment 34B. Or, would you rather just have them come to you?

Mom A: Yikes -- that's a lot stairs -- I just finished RIPPED so think I'm done for the day. They'll come to me! Always happy to host…

45 seconds later:

Mom A (cont.): Omg -- you won't believe it – but our nanny just called in sick! And I can't take them out because I've got to run to an appointment. I guess they should go to you and brave the stairs. Think they're old enough to go up on their own, no?

Mom B: Sure! Happy to have them. We'll order Farinella and they can watch a movie! Lateover? My older son will be home with some lacrosse buddies -- they are super nice guys, but sometimes they stumble upon fetish porn when they’re playing around online. Is that a problem? I strictly forbid it, but boys will be boys! Or, would you rather host?

Mom A: Absolutely! They'll come here -- we can throw on a movie too! My older daughter will probably be vaping in the service stairwell with her friends, so they can have the whole place to themselves! No one will be home except the sitter I just got off Chime. Is it weird that her references were all in Guatamala? She seemed very nice on ichat – I’m sure they’ll be fine, don’t you think? Or, would you rather they came to you?

Mom B: Certainly! Let me just check and make sure that the fire that just broke out on the 24th floor is under control by the time the kids get out of school. Smoke rises, for sure – but I’ll prop all the windows wide open just to be safe. Cool? Or would you be more comfortable with them at your house?

Mom A: For sure! But wouldn’t you know it – I just got a call that five of our Great Aunt Heidi’s cats threw up and need to be taken to the vet at 3:15, and I think I need Ben to come as an extra set of hands. SOOO sorry to do this, but I think we should just reschedule. Let me know what’s good for you! Happy to have them. Anytime. Really.

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