ON THIS NIGHT...
NEW THINGS YOU WILL HEAR AT YOUR ZOOM SEDER
Can you hear us?
Turn on your mic.
Turn on your mic without turning off your video.
Ok, now turn on your video.
Hit gallery view.
YOU NEED to hit gallery view.
Gallery view, it’s on the bottom left cor-
Ok, we’re back.
Look at us! Zoom Passover!
I feel like I am living on a checker board!
I feel like The Brady Bunch!
No, mom, I’m not wearing leggings. They are black pants.
Sound of screen shifting up.
No, it’s not a sweatshirt, it’s a pullover.
Can we start? Did everyone print out the hagaddah?
We ran out of ink, so we are sharing too…
My hands ARE washed…
On all other nights, we drink 4 glasses of wine, but on this night, we drink 4 bottles….
No, mom, I am not looking down at my phone.
On all other nights, we don’t even dip once, on this night, we pretend dip…
What happened to Grandpa? Why is he just an exclamation point?
When should we eat?
It WAS in the oven. It was getting dry.
I have no help.
No, mom, I do not have my feet on the table. Those are my hands.
On all other nights, we eat reclining, but on this night, we eat sitting up.
This kippah could make a really good face mask.
Normally, we would open the door for Elijah, but your mother said we are not breaking quarantine unless it’s for the housekeeper, so I will just crack a window.
Does the salmon taste lemon-zested or lemon-lysoled?
We’re gonna skip the ten plagues this year…
But we’re gonna be grateful for our food, friends and family.
Did Uncle Jay just leave the zoom?