IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR…

You feel it, right? That seasonal electricity. Everyone is busy, busy – wearing their hustle-bustle like a designer badge of honor, hiding their covid anxiety beneath come-hither boots and puffy furs that they haven’t busted out in two years. Hair is blown, skin is smooth, traffic is murder.

But every NYC mother knows that the holiday season is about so much more than festivities at The Mark and glittering trees on Park Avenue. It’s about the sh-t that needs to get done so you can enjoy winter break somewhere the f-ck else. The storm before the calm, so to speak. So, yes, the air is humming, and something great is coming, but let’s just take a moment to appreciate the herculean effort it takes to get everyone from A to Z.

Thus, a holiday toast to you :

…to the moms who remember to thank every single person who needs to be thanked for the holidays…

…to the moms who remember what gift goes to whom… when, where and how…

…to the moms who take days to order holiday cards but can’t find the time to send them…

…to the moms who pore over the family vortex of 40,000 iPhotos to find the screenshot they took of that thing their kid wanted for Chanukkah…

…to the moms who are up from 3:00 -4:00 am, squinting in bed at their dimmed laptops, looking for bathing suits that will cover their daughters’ asses...

…to the moms who have lightning-fast shamanic skills when it comes to anticipating others’ travel needs but take 5 mins to decide whether they should get chicken or salmon on their salad at lunch…

…to the moms who make sure that their kids have holiday treats, while worrying that they have too much sugar, while scouring the city for places with good winter fruit so there’s a healthy option on hand, that will probably get thrown out anyway, which will riddle them with guilt...

…to the moms who skip bedtime to have a little drinky poo in a dark bar in the lead up to family vacations…

…to the moms who could not only write a dissertation on the difference between an antigen, rapid PCR, PCR, binax, and binax AG – but who know precisely where and when to test and how long results will take… (Oh, and how much they cost and the amount your insurance might cover.)

…to the moms who know which testers “go deep” and which gently swab the nose, and what an utter difference that can make in the tenor of their day…

…to the moms who scarf French fries out of greasy cones in bistros filled with 20-somethings, simply to feel revelant…

-- to the moms who know that if their kids don’t have shoes that fit them on a meticulously planned trip to the Galapagos, the whole vacation will be ruined…

...to the moms who wonder that if time they ruined the family vacation by packing clothes that didn’t fit will be the story that their kids tell their grandkids one day…

…to moms who have successfully sealed the lid on another semester of school, season of sports and set of suitcases, all while juggling a maelstrom of schedules, practices, requests, calendars, and uncertainties, without knocking themselves down…

... and lastly, to the dynamic, kick-ass moms who fight through the Sisyphean task of Pandemic parenting, crushing up against the fear of missing out, the fear of being there, and the fear of messing up...and, yet, as always, making progress.

I raise my glass to you, ladies. Cheers. 2022 awaits!

Thanks for reading and laughing with me.

Happy holidays,

T.

www.itsallmaterial.net