THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF PACKING A CARRY-ON...
You arrive at your destination getaway.
The sun is shining, welcome drinks are flowing, and there's crisp, chilled hand towels aplenty, soothingly wiping away whatever remnants of schtick you carried with you from reality. You are checking in, ardently so, pushing through the last logistical leg of your travel, so close to unplugging your brain and sticking your toes in the sand.
Sound familiar? I thought so, but it’s here where the universal mindset of any group of travelers diverges into two distinct types: The carry-oners and the carry-oner-nots (aka the ones with the big-ass luggage.)
I am firmly of the latter camp. But, I do SO admire carry-oners.
Carry-oners are swift and light on their feet.
There's no slow descent into vacation mode for carry-oners. They like to be at the head of the pack and are very competitive about being the fastest to relax. They unpack in a jiffy, invariably in the first room they see, and are posturing by the pool within an hour. For a carry-oner, getting situated is a breeze!
Carryoners are not vain.
It's obvious, isn't it? A carry-oner is not defined by their belongings; it’s just stuff! It's not at all because they are morally superior to your big-bag consumer gluttony, it's just that they aren't scared by a little frizz! They would never have the gall to ask someone who paid overweight fees if they can borrow their Dyson. Never.
Carry-oners are decisive.
They know what they want! I mean, really, people who can pack one pair of shoes for four days aren’t the type to stress over what table they get. They would NEVER suggest switching seats because they cannot eat in the sun and, well, ya know, they don’t have a hat.
My big-ass suit-cased self does NOT mind eating my spicy tacos while sweltering in the sun in the least shaded seat, all to spare the nubile skin of a carry-oner who made fun of me in the airport for having so much stuff. Not at all!
Carryoners are never cold.
Quite the opposite! Carry-oners ooze warmth, especially as they dash off to grab the shuttle and leave you in the dust at baggage claim. They never shiver dramatically because they don’t have a light shawl when the air turns nippy. They would never have the gumption to ask to borrow a jean jacket on the off chance that they were over-served and left theirs in the bar at 1AM. (If they did, you wouldn’t mind because you packed 3, you silly sap!) Sharing is caring!
Carry oners are ballsy.
Even the most careful of packers occasionally gives in to an impulse buy. As they should! It’s likely they forgot something! (Or need a new jean jacket?! ) They would never ask you to stuff their new purchase in your big-ass suitcase, and then scurry off through customs to a waiting Uber, all while you try to explain to the official who randomly pores through your bags as to why you have 4 jean jackets. Never!